Relationships: You & Me and Me & Me
- TruthBTold
- Mar 5, 2019
- 4 min read
Sooooooo...you know how you hoped and wished and prayed for that special person to come into your life? You fantasized about how amazing it would be to finally be in a relationship.
You're like man, when I am finally blessed with the right person I am going to be so good to them and be the bomb partner.
We gon be on the same page about everything! We will run all of our errands together and do all of our chores together. Let's not forget how we are going to look great on his or her arm...hell we gon be "the" power couple.
It will be team us! Cute, right? Having that special person to share life with is an amazing feeling. I believe that we were all put here to live our lives to the fullest and share our amazing journeys with our partners. It is truly what life if about.
What I just said seems simple enough, right? I mean who wouldn't want that, right?
Well, here comes the challenge. We have now found that special person and we are now in a relationship with them...cool.
Now how do we protect and nurture the relationship while also being our individual selves? How do we become a team with this person without totally losing our identity?
Many times we become so grateful to have a mate that we totally lose ourselves in the relationship. It becomes the (insert his or her name) Show.
How do I know this? I have done it! Didn't even realize that I was doing it until the damn relationship was pretty much over.
Here are some signs that indicate that you may have completely lost yourself in a relationship:
Lose touch with your own goals and passions..."our purpose", instead of "my purpose". When we do this, we are teaching ourselves that it's ok for our wants and needs to take a back seat.
Constantly letting your wants and desires fall by the wayside. Can't rock the boat, right?
Nagging feeling in your gut that the relationship is not right.
You stopped working out. Prior to the relationship, I used to be disciplined and would work out regularly. I stopped so that we could have "couple time" because he did not want to workout. Slap me now! LOL
Constantly saying "We" instead of "Me". While it's cute to be in a relationship, I have learned that it is not cute to constantly say "We" when my girlfriends and I are talking about non-relationship stuff. It's annoying.
Taking forever to text or call your friends and family back.
Letting every little argument or disagreement ruin your entire week. It is not that serious. You may be too consumed by the relationship.
All of the pics in your phone are Usies and you don't have any Selfies LOL
You can't remember the last time that you did what "you" wanted to do. Ex. you always let him or her pick the movie.
When your friends say to you "Can we steal you away for one night" pay attention! "Yall" are working their nerves LOL they wanna spend time with "you".
You align yourself with people who only talk about their partners and never what they want as an individual or their perspective of life.
Losing yourself in a relationship happens slowly over time. it's subtle, so you really have to be aware of it.
You should be confident and in tune with yourself.
Trust me, being in a great relationship is the best!! We just need to find the balance between partnering and maintaining our individual selves.
People tend to say that a relationship should be 50/50 and it is two people coming together as a whole. I believe that a relationship should be 100/100 and it is two WHOLE people coming together to form a healthy partnership.
This is not Jerry Maguire and you two do not complete each other!
The following are some helpful tips on How Not to Lose Yourself In a Relationship:
Spend time with your friends. We all have busy schedules, but try to schedule time with your friends at least once a month to catch up. Don't neglect other important relationships.
If you and your mate do not share a hobby!! Good! So what!! If your hobby is reading and it brings you joy, then keep doing that! You and your significant other will not always enjoy the same activities and it's ok.
Keep dreaming and achieving your goals. Being in a relationship should not hinder you from doing that. If it does, you may be in the wrong relationship.
Spend time apart and disconnect from your electronics. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Listen...being at the gym or grocery story while texting your boo 22 times does not count as time apart. I don't care if you are rolling your eyes at me right now either!! LOL
Be open to new things. Give your partner's hobbies a chance. Hey, if you don't like them at least you gave it a try.
Navigating through relationships can be tough, but it doesn't have to be. I want us all to be in love and love the crap out of our partners, however the trick is to find the balance and to not lose ourselves in the process.
Remember, although you may be in a relationship, you still matter as an individual.
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