I have struggled with my weight many times throughout my life.
When I was a teenager I was 125 lbs and thought that I was fat because although I was slim, I had curves and a big butt. Anywhere I went people always felt the need to comment on my curves and the way I looked in an outfit.
Women would say "Girl, look at those big pretty legs." or "Wow you got a butt on you." All backhanded compliments because they had started to come into what I call their "grown woman" weight. I reminded them of how they used to look and they didn't like that.
Men would look at me like I was a snack and comment about me having a "grown woman" body. They were pervs!
We have to be so careful with our words and what we pour into our children. They carry so many things with them throughout their lives that we have no idea about...anywho, that's a whole other post LOL
Those unsolicited comments made me very self-conscience at a very early age. Hell I was a kid and should have just been worried about studying and having fun.
I carried insecurities about my body with me until I was a freshman in college. It was then that I began to gain confidence and learn who I was and that I didn't give a hell about what people thought about me.
Fast forward to adulthood. I had a baby and the snap back was hard as hell! I was like damn. I spent all those years thinking that I was fat. If only I had know what was to come later in life LOL
It absolutely floors me that in today's society, people actually purchase the things that I was teased about growing up. Butt implants and curves. Boggles the damn mind!
It wasn't until I hit my late 30's that I regained confidence and became comfortable with my grown woman weight. I also realized that I needed to try to keep it in check, so I started working out and dieting. You name it, I did it.
I have always hated working out, but my body responds well to it and likes it, therefore it becomes a battle between my mind and my body. Lately my body has been winning LOL Don't judge me!
As we get older, it becomes more difficult to get into the habit of working out.
For me it was so crazy because if you said to me Trina, I need to lose weight but I need you to help me. I would get up and go to the track or gym with you, meal prep with you,drink gallons of water and cut carbs with you.
That's the empath in me LOL
So then I started to think why the hell is it so hard to do those very same things for myself?? Crazy right? I had to get my mental together.
If the mind can conceive it, the body can achieve it. That is one of the realest statements ever.
I have stopped and started the process of trying to live a healthier lifestyle more times than I can tell you, but guess what? I am not going to stop trying, because I love me.
I truly believe in self-care and fitness is part of the journey. I am getting older and definately realizing that I need to always take great care of myself in all areas.
I want to grow old gracefully without causing myself health issues or having to take meds, and I surely do not want my daughter to carry the burden of having to take care of me all because I didn't. Not going to happen!
I am not perfect. I will stumble, slip and fall off at times because I am human and I like to eat and drink :) Consistent small changes over time can result in greatness.
The beauty is that I love myself enough to keep trying until I get it right :) I am not going to give up on myself and neither should you!
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